Moving Day...

For those of you following along with me its moving day! My new fundraising website is

http://pages.teamintraining.org/wa/nikesf10/mjarvishsy

You can follow along. The money I earned but was unable to run with will be transferred into the Nike Marathon soon!

Thanks for keeping up with me!!

Struggling...

“Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling, enduring, and accomplishing.”

Fitness for me has become more than just a respite from lifes daily struggles...its gotten me past some of the darkest days life has dealt me. So how do I deal with an injury that leaves me just short of bedrest? I haven't really figured that out and I am quite honestly struggling with the reprecussions. My mom was here for a couple weeks and the kids were able to have fun and enjoy going outside and going places, my father in law is even pitching in and coming to help next week and I'm more grateful that I could express to both of them...my kids being happy does alot for the soul.

But as I sit by (actually lay) and watch the training weeks pass me by, drive past the usual running routes I used to run with my teammates, read the posts from teammates that are making such huge "strides" I feel so out of touch...and somehow the darkness tends to creep in. It is, quite honestly, painful in more ways than physically.

Even when I bring my daughter to her gym class I watch in envy those on the machines and in the group fitness classes we're forced to pass to get to the class.

So what do I do...I overuse my hip and leg on the days i'm feeling good only to lead to a terrible night, with little to no sleep, which then leads to a grumpy mommy day and well I'm sure I don't have to explain what that means for the kiddos...today was a difficult day and I am pretty sure I should and do take full responsibility for it.

But tomorrow is another day. And eventually I will run my first marathon...my second, third and so on and think back on these weeks hopefully somehow grateful for whatever reason it is that I'm supposed to be down.

Go Team!

Unstoppable...

Love the song from the Olympics by Rascal Flatts, Unstoppable. Saturday while I was running one of the, for me, most difficult runs to date this song came on. As if i wasn't losing enough fluids I thought I'd add a few tears. It was on a stretch where I was alone and I needed to find the strength to push myself. Images of those i am running for flooding in, images of the donations from people I've never even met rushed through me. The faith they all have in me filled my very core...and suddenly the strength that was lacking in my feet, shins, calves, knees...was doubled.

I continued my own journey upwards facing hills that could have seemed daunting but instead fueled my already burning fire. Up, up I went running, not walking...2 hours and almost 12miles to the end I raced in with our Team Kaptain..."Come on lets kick it up" she said at the end. So instead of trotting in safely we shoved our way through the pain and naysayers in our heads.

Reminded me of this quote my mom had hanging in her house:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, 'gatorade' in the other, totally worn out and screaming 'WOOO HOOOOO what a ride!'

(I took some liberties there since I neither drink Coffee or Wine!)

The way I see it we've all got a choice, to live or not. I like things simple, two simple choices...to live or not to. Quite honestly very little is truly in our control I can control how I live when things are thrown at me.

Gratefully I have found a community of people that share this view of life...share it, embrace it, are generous with it. Between my sweet family that supports me, my Team in Training friends and those of you out there rooting for me, donating to me, fighting right alongside me in all the various ways you have found a way to do so...my life is sweet and blessed.

And to the leaders in our group the way you live inspires me, you do this over and over year after year...and to still inspire. I am in ahh and strive to emulate the greatness you have already achieved and continually push yourselves to achieve. ( I thank you for all those things you have done for our team and me personally)

Yours in Health!

Mandy

Turning Anxiety on itself...

Truth be told I get anxious rather easily. I, probably like many of you, like it when things go smoothly. This week things didn't go so smoothly, I got many rejections while asking for donations to our silent and vocal auctions. It got to a boiling point, mine is a little lower than most I think. I have very little patience for myself and while I was receiving those rejections I turned it inward...rejections against me personally, me rejecting the process I put into place, me rejecting the ideas I was having that were being rejected.

Yep one right after the other...you add on top of that the kids having a bad day(undoubtedly my doing!) and well its the making for my breaking.

Or so I chose to believe that day... the thing is through the years i've learned this about myself. That I get very anxious very quickly when things are not precicely in place, in order. This time however I dealt with a little differently. First I emailed everything that was going on to my sweet understanding husband. He's been through this with me a few times!

Then there's our Team Kaptain...she is calmness embodied, coolness, ease and anxiety-free. Maybe its because this isn't her first circus, maybe its her talent...whatever the reason she simply wrote that this was merely the beginning, we had just started. In her simpleness she helped put me at ease.

Lastly there's this team i'm involved in that has become quite honestly a second family. Almost instantly I had messages asking what they could help with...amazing and humbling.

Ultimately however I knew it was up to me...two choices really. Allow these rejections to define my fundraising and quite honestly marathon training. Or move forward and beyond the rejections that cannot define me, let alone defeat me. It is ALWAYS my choice.

So I chose to move forward...use the leads my teammates gave me and the very next day I recieved a phone call from a DJ that actually PAID for my info when he saw I was running for the LLS. He had been looking for an organization to offer his services to...he felt he had found it when he saw my name pop up on an event site.

So he called me that day and not only told me he'd do my even for free but any event any of us had for free if he didn't have a gig going already! Then he proceeded to give me all the info he had for vendors that give good deals, radio stations he was in contact with... all the info he could.

Then I got an email from the Holiday Inn Express in Coeur d'Alene (the one with the waterpark and outdoor family fun center) They are donating passes to the park and a one night stay...the beauty of it was they didn't ask for anything, they just simply gave! I was and am so impressed.

Quite honestly that day and yesterday the donations just started piling in, family fun center in Seattle offered some passes, A family in Forks (yes twilight) offered a buy one get one free night at "the Cullens" B&B.

I am humbled and have been taught a valuble lesson...NEVER GIVE UP. Do you think those we are running for gave up?

I heard this the other day thought is was rather appropriate for the week.

"Invictus" is a short poem by the English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903)

At the age of 12, Henley became a victim of tuberculosis of the bone. A few years later the disease progressed to his foot, and physicians announced that the only way to save his life was to amputate directly below the knee. It was amputated at the age of 25. In 1867 he successfully passed the Oxford local examination as a senior student. In 1875 he wrote the "Invictus" poem from a hospital bed. Despite his disability, he survived with one foot intact and led an active life until his death at the age of 53.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

Also Quoted by Nelson Mandela

Are you the master or are you letting something else make your choices? Just a thought?

Oh Hill...

Week two of hills. We did the LONG one this week and since I've been having WAY too many issues with my shins I was worried! But not worried enough to stay home and do nothing...NO WAY! Judy informed me that I would be walking backwards down the hill. (I have no problem going up hills until the downhills make my shins turn to rocks)...Kaptain Karen got there and held me to it...but what a great team I have they walked down the hill with me backwards!! So amazing!

Anyways it was a success I didn't have any shin splints thanks to the backwards walking, now I just have to figure out how to walk forward, downhill and not get shin splints!!

(BTW those of you on the team reading this SO much more happened at practice...but I shall not tell you have to come to get the fun details!!)

Nutrition 101...

To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art.

- La Rochefoucauld

Sooooo...no doubt this is all the way through my TNT group. I was rather sick this last week. M-W not keeping anything in or down. Fun times. Thursday I felt a little better I thought what the hey!

I met Karen and Kristi at the Trac and started running...ok first of all trying to follow Kristi when her legs come up to Karen and my shoulders is just not fair...but suddenly I realized just how important eating is. A little heavy breathing is pretty common still but the toes were tingling, so I slowed and mentioned to Karen and Kristi that all I had eaten this week were a couple saltines. Which had not remained within...they ran ahead but kept coming back for me. (Despite my shoving them ahead)

I continued to "try" to run as the tingling began to turn to numbing and moved to all my feet and my shins...well needless to say many of my muscles began shutting down and as I finally saw the glorious sign from above (the Trac sign)...my insides became apart of Pasco. Your most welcome people of Pasco.

I plodded on literally dragging myself, how I don't know I can honestly say I have never felt so many muscles shut down like I did. Not quite seeing cross-eyed but Kristi kept asking. But I made it back to my car...got a semi-stern talking to from Karen...and knew I was in for it from Katy.

Thankfully she was more worried than angry and just helped remind me to, duh, "LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!!"

You know it sounds so very simple when your telling it to someone else but actually doing it!

Saturday rolled around and I started running, not long however! Karen was on my tail reminding me I would be walking today. So I walked with Sherrie and wow, all I can say is my Father in Heaven knows exactly what he is doing and if i'd sit down and shut up things might be a tad more simple! Thanks again Karen and Sherrie.

And a bit of advice if I may? LISTEN TO YOUR BODY...the reprecuccions are not worth it...and so extremem I could not have possibly predicted them!!!

Something a little more pleasant...

Have you check it out yet? If not please go to YouTube via this link...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4W0Q26hGjA

and check out the latest video made with love for friends and family members that have inspired me!

Yours in Health,

Mandy

What I Learned from My 5 yr old...

We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.

~Max DePree~

This weekend I got to run with my family either video taping or actually running with me. I am making a movie combining friends i'm running with and running for.

Corbyn, my 5 year old, was determined to run with me. Not really knowing what he was getting into...isn't that how we all started out here? He ran and ran and ran...we gave a few high fives, he learned our running mantra and shouted "go team" many times to teammates.

Unfortunately he really didn't pace himself...what 5 year old knows how to really? So we'd walk fast then start running again. Everytime he'd tell me "we can do this mommy, I can do this huh mommy?" I'd reiterate that I knew he could do it!

We got closer to where daddy and sissy had driven down to get some footage. But it was still far enough away Corbyn was doubting himself. "I don't know if I can do this mommy its so far" We were so close I could taste it. So I bent over hoisted him up and gave him a piggyback ride almost all the way to daddy (my 60lbder!)

He found daddy and stayed with him while I moved on and continued to run...turning at 25:15 to make it back before my 50min. I decided I could have a negative split today...so I ran.

Eventually my end was in sight and I kept thinking of Corbyn wanting so badly to finish and I did with 15seconds to spare.

What I learned from my 5 year old: Sometimes we do need to be carried through the difficult part.

Sometimes we can be the cheerleader

Never give up

It helped as I searched for some semblance of pride in fundraising...following in the footsteps of some AMAZING fundraising teammates.

Admittedly I was ready to give up after this weekend. I figured I'd keep trying to recommittment and keep running but that my time was up. I was even given permission by a much admired friend whom I trust and love.

After running with my son, being with the lovely people in my team I felt renewed faith...and as if to tell me i was on the right path I opened my inbox to three new donations...

Thank you, to my family, my team, and my donors...you all AMAZE ME.

Yours in Health,

Mandy

Kindred Spirit...

"A Friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature."

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Saturdays run...well I'm not going to make this long. Just this, I had a great run and was priviledged to run with a very special person that seems to have turned out to be a kindred spirit.

What more will I gain from this training and fundraising. Thus far it has been such a beatiful journey. My gratitude is immense.

Finding your Zen Place...

"Did you do everything you could today to do your best?"

Apolo Anton Ohno

The Olympics are so inspiring...and sometimes depressing. Watching these kids so dedicated its almost sickening!

I met a kid the other day in the gym that is going to be playing basketball in the local Special Olympics. His excitement was contagious as I ran on the normally boring treadmill...he livened things up significantly for me.

Sometimes we beat ourselves up because our ideas of the day didn't turn out as planned. I'm quite guilty of this...my last walk/run on Saturday felt like such a failure...but I realized that, getting my run or walk with knots in my shins is still getting it in. Its being there its doing. Meeting someone inspiring makes a good day, teaching my children one simple thing that may only stick till bedtime...frustrating and yet fulfilling somehow!

I'm no Apolo Ohno for sure...but he's no me either. I have a pretty fantastic life even if its no where near what I planned its spectacular in its own little way.

In other words "Count your many blessings, name them one by one" perhaps they won't seem so insignificant if you stop to notice them!

Yours in Health,

Mandy

Facing Fear...

"In order to learn the most important lessons of life, one must each day surmount a fear."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

I remember one of the first times I told someone outside my immediate family one of my silly fears. She later told me that was what she remembered about me because of how far I came over one weekend and then the following several months we worked together.

This was when I was training to become a Group Centergy (Yoga) instructor...and she was my trainer, mentor and friend.

It was just before I was moving to the Tri Cities and I finally got the opportunity to meet her other half. As she introduced us she mentioned that "This is the girl I was telling you about that was scared to call the pizza guy and made her future husband promise she'd never have to do that."

Her husband smiled...apparently also knowing just how far I had come too.

I've never enjoyed talking on the phone, calling on the phone or generally putting myself out of my comfort zone. (honestly who does)

The yoga training came up quick so I didn't have time to talk myself out of it...and it put me so far out of my comfort zone...most days I started teaching out of breath and with a cough drop in my mouth because it was so dry.

Through that experience I found a new version of myself, which is by no means perfected. I'm still the one that prefers sitting back, observing, soaking up info and allowing others to do the talking.

Why do I bring this up? Well once again I have put myself in a position of jumping clear out of my comfort zone.

Joining Team in Training was supposed to be something I did with my friend in Seattle...the marathoner extraordinaire, then we moved. But she still pushed (even her husband did). I am finding as the first month passes, each week, each day, each 50min run, 40 min and 30min run I am increasingly more grateful for that gentle...or not so gently nudge out of my comfort zone.

I am learning from my teammates what it means to be a true team player, I am learning from my family what sacrifice is, I am learning from those of you donating and sharing stories what it means to be a true hero and fighter.

And so I continue to plod along one pavement thump at a time, and while the intensity of the running increases, so do the intensity of my feelings for this cause. You all uplift me and I can think of no better place to be adding my time and lack of talent to!

In my lack of ability to express how profound of an experience this has already become I shall leave you with this...(from my Centergy Trainer)

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be Brilliant, Gorgeous, Talented, Fabulous?

Actually, who are you NOT to be?

You are a Child of God.

Your playing small doesn't serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are born to manifest teh glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Marianne Williamson

Yours in Health & Happiness,

Mandy

First 50min...

"In order to learn the most important lessons of life, one must each day surmount a fear."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last Saturday was the full marathoners first 50min run. Admittedly I was scared out of my mind that I would have to walk the entire way... So with my mind concentrating on my run I overhear my name being said in conjuction with Yoga...what?

Kaptain Karen has decided I will stretch us out since Coach Katy was off skiing. Quite honestly I thought she was joking so I continued to stay in my mind visualizing my run.

We got into our stretching triangle and Kaptain Karen turned it over to...me. Well this is something I am comfortable with so I stretched us out. I enjoyed being part of practice in a different form.

After that I plugged a headphone in (only one since Coach Katy doesn't like us running with headphones in)...turned on my stop watch and headed out.

First goal...make it running to all the way up to the first bridge...goal accomplished. I stopped running at the top and walked halfway across then started up again.

Each outside practice i've struggled with pretty bad shin splints. To the point that my shin muscles tighten up into lovely knots at the sign of cold air. I started feeling the first knot in my left shin...but kept moving.

Eventually it got to the point where I was wondering if it was ok to stop and stretch it...then I didn't care if it was ok it was necessary.

It didn't really work so well mainly because I did bare minimum and then moved forward...what I found was first the right leg didn't cramp up (different from my other runs) and second running didn't hurt the leg as bad as walking did...so I ran. The rest of my body was begging me to stop but it didn't hurt as much as the leg!

The end was near my Mentor Becky came up behind me and ran with me the rest of the way...then i saw it THE HILL. "Um that looks a bit daunting" I said to Becky,

"Luckily we don't have to climb it today" Becky informed me...ok thank goodness she was there or I might've and then been lost! We rounded the track and I wasn't sure I'd actually finish running but she kept my pace up for me and i did it.

All in all I'd say I ran 75-80% of the 50min run and felt amazing.

Saturday was the first day I ENJOYED running. Never thought I'd say that in all my life but when we were sitting in Starbucks and I went over how I felt before, during and after...I really enjoyed it.

So keep the donations coming...I will be holding up my end!

Yours in Health...

Mandy

Am I Running?

"Although the world is full of suffering,

it is also full of overcoming it."

-Helen Keller

Ok so running is not in love with me...or something. I do alright on the treadmill by myself , and yes I am running, I make it through my 30min proud and excited...then we go outside to practice and bam it hits me between the eyes when I'm outside. The hard pavement, the cold frosty air on my already delicate lungs...and of course the weight that needs to drop off already...are you listening? It seems to be hanging on and tugging at every possible joint and I take full responsibility for it being there!

Oh then the kids go and get sick...don't they know its not a convenient time...hmmm and they are usually so accomodating! So I am shooting myself up with Airborne and Zicam...praying that it passes by because I KNOW I need every last drop of running practice to make it through a full marathon.

...add in a sprinkle of "how am I going to raise 2500" and you've got yourself a front row seat into my mind. (Just what you wanted i'm sure!)

Then something happens a donation appears...along with a story or not. Maybe its a donation from a person i've never met before that shares a similar belief. Whatever it is I find I am once again humbled into running submission.

So here's to you...those that have been on my webpage to visit and check it out and even more so those that have donated. In three short weeks you have taught me more about life as a fundraising, marathon running, stay at home mom.

You have my respect for what you have personally accomplished...Rachel you are an inspiration and I am grateful Lymphoma lost its battle to your fighting strength. Marilyn you're a dedicated mother to many and it shows through the quiet donation you made.

And here's to a happier picture of me after practice next week!

"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars."

-Khalil Gibran

Yours in Running and Fundraising Health!

Mandy