Did you know that approximately 670.000 Americans currently have leukemia, Hodgkin or non-Hodgkin lymphoma or myleoma?

Did you know that someone new is diagnosed with lymphoma or leukemia-related cancer every five minutes?

Did you know that every nine minutes, someone with leukemia or lymphoma dies?

Did you know that by donating to my crazy journey and watch me make a fool of myself at a triathlon that it could possibly be funding a cure, getting treatment to a patient or helping someone who just found out that they now have cancer?

Yup! If you just donated, pat yourself on the back. You're a hero!

http://youtu.be/7mXYOv0W5Rc

This commercial aired jyesterday morning on Good Morning America. My little Skittles was watching it with me when he exclaimed "Mom! That's who you run for! They found a cure!!! You did it!" I responded "Almost baby, almost. Now we need to get this cure for ALL kinds of cancer and available for everyone." And then he said, "We can do it."

I've been with Team in Training for almost one year and a half now. I've been pretty vocal about all that it has done for me and my family. If you have missed out on my story and have a bit of time, I'd be honored if YOU read it and joined me on this crazy journey.

Go to RUNMYSSIERUN.COM to see how I got here and why I don't want anyone else to be where my family has been.

But before you do that... would you please click on that little "DONATE" button up at the top right hand corner? I still have $821 to raise. Any little bit counts.

We were nicknamed the “dream team” and I have to agree, this truly is an awesome group of phenomenal people who inspire, look fear in the eye, conquer it and have fun doing it. So when our Team in Training alumni group quickly organized a “silent 3-mile run for Boston” after the tragic events that unfolded, the “dream team” sent texts to each other confirming our solidarity. We wouldn’t miss this for the world.

Cyndi Karr is one of THE most amazing gazelles in my run club. When she qualified and went up to New York for the New York marathon but was sent back because of the hurricane, she was disappointed but not defeated. So when she crossed the finish line in Boston on Monday morning, the chatter on our facebook messaging was out of control!!! All us girls were planning her welcome home party, organizing volunteers to get flowers, cup cakes, balloons, etc… and then quite literally silence. We all saw the news at the same time.

Frantic and praying, our little group of normally speechless women waited on one of us to communicate with Beto (Cyndi’s husband).

They were safe. THANK THE LORD!

When I met them the following day at the airport as they arrived, I was so elated when I heard her say “I walked eight steps on ‘Heartbreak Hill’ and ran the rest. I can’t wait to do it again next year!” and tears rolled down her cheek.

She posted the following on her facebook:

“These cowards managed to plant these explosives at the happiest part of the race…the finish, but they messed with the wrong people. If their intentions were to break the human spirit…marathoners are the wrong people to mess with. That’s why we run… & put ourselves through the pain to see how much more our hearts can endure… Although my experience is blurred by the feelings of saddness and anger…the Boston marathon was everything I expected it to be and more!! I will definitely be at Boston 2014!!”

Momma smiled through everything. No matter how difficult her life, situation or gut instinct was… she always smiled. The above photo was taken as she was being wheeled in to remove 9 brain tumors after having this metal “crown” drilled into her head. She still asked to be photographed so I could see that she was smiling. She taught me that. How to smile that is. She taught me to smile no matter what.

For years as a child, I wanted so badly to look like her, to act like her, to be like her. I practiced smiling in the mirror with a picture of her in the reflection just so that I knew how to hold my lips in a smile that matched hers. I practiced this! I don’t think I truly ever really got it right… but as I look back, I’m pretty close.

Smiling like her though is not the difficult part. The difficult part is smiling like her when it’s just plain difficult.

I’m not sure I can hold her smile on my face this week.

It’s the first Easter without her.

*For those of you that just started following my blog, she passed away on Easter Sunday

It has always been a family tradition to spend Easter Sunday at her house hunting for “cascarones” (aka Easter eggs). We didn’t do it last year – clearly because of her passing. This year, dad and I don’t quite know how to celebrate it. My youngest boy is still young enough to enjoy the tradition of hunting for Easter eggs. My oldest boy is loving enough to put aside his “coolness” and play along for his little brother. I doubt I will see my nephews (the sons of my baby brother who’s anniversary of his death is also this coming week) anytime soon.

I am a bit down. When people tell you that they admire how strong, courageous and brave you are… is it wrong to tell them that they’re wrong?

I wish i could smile like her now.

I wish she was here to smile for me.

I wish I could be teased by Donny one more time. I wish I could hear his laugh. That thundering belly laugh that filled the room with joy. I wish I could get that surprise phone call and hear “boogie woogie woogie” from the other end.

I wish… I wish…

I wish I knew what to do this Easter to make me smile, to keep a tradition, to go on with life, to make happy memories with my children, to ensure they treasure memories as well as I do.