It's important to remember that each footstrike carries you forward, not backward. And every time you put on your running shoes you are different in some way than you were the day before. - John "The Penguin" Bingham

In the last few weeks, I’ve been working on a “40 things to do by the time I turn 40” list. I finally finished it, and one of the items on there was to raise $10,000 for Team in Training. Let me explain.

I’m trying to get myself back into my training for my half marathon in October. Since my first half, it’s been difficult for me to get back into the swing of things, mostly because school, work and illness have been contributing factors (especially that whole being exhausted thing). It’s been semi-successful – I’ve actually been going to training runs (good) and trying to get up in the morning but failing to do so (bad).

Today, I missed going in the morning, but brought my bag with me, determined to go during lunch time. I put the 2 miles on my training schedule on the treadmill, pushing myself a little bit by keeping the speed up.

And my mind wandered while I was out, prompting this post.

I thought about where I was a year ago, before I had even really heard of Team in Training. I thought back to the beginnings of a dark time for me in September that culminated into a very rough ending to 2012 and a rough beginning to 2013.

I found Team in Training after I’d been running for an entire 7 months or so. When I first talked to Vicki at the national office, I wasn’t sure it was something I wanted to do. We talked about options, which included the Nike Women’s Half in D.C. and the Paris Marathon (yes, that Paris). In the end, the fundraising felt a bit daunting, so I opted for the less expensive race in D.C., with hopes that I’ll one day do the Paris race.

At that point, I was excited and nervous. What the heck had I gotten myself into?

Over time, I ran lots of training miles, raised over $3,700 (minimum was $3,200) and completed a 13.1 mile race in Washington, D.C., where I had never been before. I ended up shaving my head because of a fundraising challenge and donating my hair to be made for wigs for children.

Whoa.

But that wasn’t what I was really thinking about. What drifted into my mind today is how much Team in Training has given me. It was my salvation when I felt cast out and needed to do SOMETHING. It’s a place I can go and feel safe regardless of how slow I am (still slow, that hasn’t changed). It’s given me my health back. It’s taught me that there are more important things in life than being accepted by people.

I received so much by putting in the miles on the pavement, getting up early in the freezing temperatures and dealing with aches and pains. I realize that I need this time for myself to de-stress. It’s given me confidence that I might be able to do a full marathon one of these days. These things got me through a very difficult time in my life and I will be forever grateful for all Team in Training has given me.

The journey has been incredible so far, and I look forward to participating in more races and more TNT events in order to raise $10,000.

I confess - I didn't come up with the title of this blog. My friend Lauren did, only she didn't know it at the time.

I've been talking about it for awhile, and Friday was the day that I finally made good on my promise to shave my head if I raised $3,500 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. I raised $3,726.38 with your help.

Leading up to the actual cut, I was freaking out. In some ways, it's not just hair - it's part of your identity. I was worried about how I would look. I had no idea what my head looked like - it could have been pointy for all I knew!

I cried on Friday. I had the thought that I shouldn't be crying - I chose to do this. But it's such a drastic change, and like any drastic change, it causes discomfort. Even as I told myself multiple times "it'll grow back".

Luckily, I had the right group of people there to keep me from losing it. Lauren took photos, Karen, Dawn, Laura and Carrie all cut ponytails, Michael and Jason were there for inappropriate humor, my coaches Bruce and Lynnae were there and Tori was awesome in getting my hair ready to cut and shave. Carrie also brought cupcakes.

This is shortly after I arrived at the salon. I think it was just after Michael walked in and said "You don't have to do this!" and his wife Lauren said "yes, you do".

Tori let me choose my smock, and since I have a zebra print scarf that I'm sure you'll see me in soon, I picked that one. She put my hair into about 12 ponytails.

Karen cut off a ponytail after trying to cut through it for a second or two.

Lauren asked me to take a picture when there were just a few ponytails left. The bottom two at my neck were completely shaved off, so we could get the most hair to donate. We've also determined I may or may not resemble Harley Quinn in this photo.

Coaches Bruce and Lynnae showed up and we took a photo to show off our Team in Training gear!

The bag contains a LOT of hair. It's about 9 inches worth, and I swear each ponytail could be that of a small child. I knew my hair was thick, but holy cow! I'll be sending it to Children with Hair Loss as a donation.

At the end of the day, I didn't have to worry that I had a conehead (I don't) and sometimes, it just feels like I have my hair pulled back and it's wet. But the good news is, it takes a lot less time to air dry now!

So far, I've gone out in public with and without a scarf (mostly without). Part of my fear was how people would look at me without hair. But so far, I haven't noticed much of a difference. I had also worried about how some cancer survivors I know would respond to the gesture, but those fears have also been unfounded.

Granted, I'm sure there are people I know that think I'm nuts. And that's fine. Maybe I am. But I didn't do this for them, I did it to bring awareness to a cause that I care about. I did it despite my fear of being different.

I turn the page to the next chapter, where I will raise $1,500 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and run the Grand Rapids Half Marathon in October. Check out my fundraising page here: http://pages.teamintraining.org/mi/GrdRpd13/aclock

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon

It's been less than two weeks, and I've already signed up for the Grand Rapids Metro Health Half Marathon in October. This time around, I'm looking to raise $1,500 for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, bringing my total for the year over $5,000!

You know what that means? I should probably get training again! D.C. was an awesome experience, but GR should be good too because this time, I'm bringing a friend for his first half marathon!!!

You can make a donation here or keep an eye out for upcoming events to help raise money for LLS!

GO TEAM!

Teams are made up of individuals. Without them, there is no team.

Welcome to my Team In Training home page.

I have a mission-to help find cures and more effective treatments for blood cancers. To accomplish that mission, I’m participating in a sports endurance event as a member of The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) Team In Training. Like the other members of TNT, I will be raising funds to help find cures and better treatments for leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma. I’m improving the quality of my life by participating and with your support, I can help improve the quality of life for patients and their families as well.

Please make a donation in support of my efforts with Team In Training and help advance the research for cures.